Dangerous Bella
by eddie.is.the.sex
Summary: basically what i think will happen when bella becomes a vampire. the whole lead-up to it etc. mostly bella's pov. but a bit in Edward's pov. finds her power. please r and r! :
1. preface hysterical

I steered his flawless, silver Volvo down the winding, road, still not quite grasping what I had decided to do

Preface

Hysterical

Disclaimer: I. DON"T. OWN. TWILIGHT.

I steered his flawless, silver Volvo down the winding, road, still not quite grasping what I had decided to do. Had he not been with me in the car, I was pretty sure I would've completely lost it. In the driver's seat of the superb vehicle, I laughed a madman's giggle.

Next to me, my true love glanced out of the corners of his golden eyes with worry. For his sanity, I stifled the next hysterical laugh that gurgled up my throat.

It was hilarious really. Who had ever thought of a vampire being in desperate love with a human, (and vice-versa) and then - wait for it! – deciding to _bite_ said human, subsequently making her, a vampire?

Exactly.

That kind of thing belonged in horror movies. Not in real life.

And definitely not in mine.


	2. towards her destiny

We had just come back from our honeymoon

Towards Her Destiny

My eyes seemed as though they were magnetized to the heavy, sparkling ring on my finger. My hands clenched the black-leather wheel with tense rigidity. I couldn't even try to avoid spying the ring, flaunting itself on my hand, annoyingly right in my line of vision.

We had just come back from our honeymoon. And after saying goodbye to Charlie, I packed my bags, lugged all the university books and gear into Edward's car, and sped off.

It must've been the most romantic honeymoon ever thought up. It was if some desperate old woman had smashed together every fanciful thought from inside every single daydreaming twelve-year-old's mind.

You want a chamber quartet outside your bedroom at night? You got it.

You want to stay in the most extravagant, most expensive suite, in the very highest sky-scraper? Sure. How about I get you one in Paris?

Walking along a long beach sprinkled with white sand? And sub-honeymoons in Toulouse and Naples? Enough belgian chocolate and fine champagne to (quite literally) make your head spin? A hike up the Eiffel? During lightly falling snow?

Of course. Anything for you, Bella.

I imitated my newly wed husband in my mind, with mixed feelings, drumming my still agitated fingers on the steering wheel.

He had dragged me to board a ship across the English Channel, or to a secluded and wet rainforest in the higher regions of France, everywhere, anywhere.

But I never even guessed his true motive until many such escapades had been completed.

And then, despite the sincerity that Edward, with a blinding grin on his face, would introduce yet another wacky plan, I knew what he was doing.

Of course. Now that I had finally clicked, I shook my head at how cunning he had been. And how stupidly dazed with love I had been.

He had just been trying desperately to postpone what would happen… _after_… the honeymoon. We had spent three whole extra weeks doing everything. It had been his plan all along.

Edward was just so protective of my soul! I had completed my side of the bargain, and now it was his turn. But he was constantly worrying over my after-life. He never seemed to acknowledge the fact that I could not –and would not- survive without him in my real life, which was happening right now.

But now, finally, I was getting what I wanted. To be a vampire.

"Bella."

I jerked myself out of my reverie and turned to look at the angel beside me. I raked my hungry eyes over his perfect features, holding my breath. It was completely irrational, but I didn't dare release my breath, incase I ruined the bewildering image that was _Edward_.

There was still a tiny part of me that didn't quite believe that Edward was now mine. Sure, we were _married_ – I was still working on accepting that part too – and that would've been enough reassurance for anyone.

But I was still just a human, and Edward in shocking contrast, was a god.

I smiled grimly to myself. _That would all change very soon._

"Are you alright?"

I blinked and released my breath with a _whoosh_. Right into Edward's face. His face became the vision of shock, and he strained his neck to get as far away from me as possible.

I felt like he had slapped me. I fought to control my hurt. It wasn't hard.

I'd had a lot of practice.

My eyes widened. I stumbled over my words to apologize. "Oh Edward! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that…just… I forgot to…"

I trailed after my last words in complete surprise. Edward's face had relaxed. Every trace of agitation had disappeared. His eyes were closed in bliss as he leaned forward – _towards_ me.

I watched with shock as he inhaled deeply. As he finally exhaled, he blew his breath into my own face, and I, in turn, leaned closer and marveled at his scent; indescribable.

With Edward's marble face inches away from my own ordinary face; I struggled to stay conscious. His warm eyes opened, and bored deep into my soul. I stared right back at him.

His curved mouth opened and he breathed, "Mmm… I love your scent. And I got tired of avoiding your siren call."

I gazed, stunned back into his face and realized that I should be saying something. "Um."

Abruptly, I felt that something was not quite right.

I sat bolt upright and frantically put my hands back on wheel. After a moment of overwhelming panic, I saw that one of his cold hands was holding the wheel in place.

I sank back into the seat as my heart rate slowed.

I heard his cool, smooth laugh beside me, and I turned to look at him.

" Bella, my love, did you think that I would let a _car_ – with you in it! – crash?" He laughed again. "The mere thought of that was ludicrous!"

I straightened up again and gently pushed his hand off the wheel, and took hold of it again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him continue to look at me with an annoying grin on his face.

I sighed and admitted, "Okay, thanks" I muttered, "for keeping me alive."

He smiled his dazzling smile and said happily, "My pleasure."

I gritted my teeth together, and his face crumpled. He thought that I was mad at _him_! How was that even possible? I wanted to tell him that I was just frustrated at my … humanness. There was no other way of saying it. I was just so weak!

Edward tentatively asked me, "Did I do something wrong? If I did, I apologize. Bella, you do know that I was only teasing you? I-"

I sighed and said, "Stop. It's not you."

He became silent. I continued to stare down the never-ending winding road.

He spoke again. "Then what is it?"

When I didn't reply, he asked me again, "Bella. Please tell me. And before as well! You were thinking about something; I saw the emotions on your face. Bella. I want you to tell me. Please."

I took several deep breaths and decided to tell him what I was thinking; however stupid it would sound.

"Okay. I was just … annoyed… at myself. At how… _weak_ I am. That's all. And before, I was thinking about…" and here my voice cracked with nervousness.

"… about … becoming a vampire."

Edward's eyes suddenly became confused; not like him at all. And I saw the pain streak over his face. With my heart beating faster and faster, I listened to what he would say next.

" Bella – I have to know." And here his voice became urgent. "_Are you ready?"_

I chose my words carefully, trying to be honest, yet still get my way.

"maybe… maybe ninety-five percent ready?"

He narrowed his eyes and thudded his next words into me.

"_That_ was the _wrong answer_!"

Feeling my own temper flare up, I shouted back at him, "Edward! How _the hell_ can _anyone_ be one hundred percent sure about being a vampire! Hm?"

I felt so mad. Didn't he understand that this was the _only_ answer? If I didn't do this, the Volturi would come and get me. His family would get into a whole lot of undeserved trouble, and he would get himself hurt while trying to protect _me_! How was that right? I bit my lip hard, to keep the words from spilling out. I would probably say something I would regret.

Edward's face was like thunder.

"You. Don't. Get. It. This isn't a game, Bella. This is permanent. You need to be _sure_." His face melted and he began to plead with me. But I needed to be strong. For everyone's sake.

"Please Bella. You can't just reverse back to human. Are you really ready to sacrifice Charlie, Renee - your whole life? You would never die – yet you would see everyone you knew die before you! And … and… Jacob - "

He was truly begging me now. When he said Jake's name, I felt like I had been stabbed in the gut. It was agonizing to hear this about Jake. But not impossible. I steadied myself and tried to make my voice soothing. I didn't succeed. My voice trembled and broke several times.

"Edward. Please Edward do this for me. Be strong. I _need_ you … on my side."

His eyes were heart-breaking sad, but I saw a new emotion grip him. He nodded slowly. He reached out for me; taking hold of the steering wheel again. I closed my eyes as I felt his cool embrace and heard his sweet voice whisper in my ear.

"Never doubt that I will always be on your side. I will _always_ be there for you." I was immediately reminded of Jake. Jake's promise. I squeezed the tears back as I felt the knife wrench inside of me.

As I clutched onto Edward's shirt, I felt the car grind to a gentle stop.

"Maybe I should drive the rest."

I didn't even attempt to argue. I felt drained, yet unbelievably thankful that my destiny had accepted me at last. Edward was going to turn me. And he would be there every step of the way.

I felt exhausted. I barely comprehended that I had been moved into the passengers' seat until the car began moving again. I breathed out and nestled myself closer to his skin. His cool hand rubbed my shoulder gently.

Just as I was about to drop off, I heard him whisper an addition to Jake's promise that no longer made it forever belong to Jake.

"…I will always love you"


	3. Ready Set

Turning

Ready. Set.

I stood on the doorstep of my home.

I didn't knock. Even if I could (for I was cradling Bella in my arms at the time) I wouldn't have bothered; there was no point. Sure enough, in less than a second, Alice appeared in the doorway. Her eyes gazed, critically, over the sleeping form in my arms.

Bella's long, brown hair cascaded over my arm, and her lids flickered, as though having a bad dream.

- - - - -

I was standing in a shaft of blindingly bright light.

Again.

After a few seconds, I realized where I was. In that dream where I saw gran… _become_ me. I shuddered, and looked around. There was that same gilt-framed mirror again. As I gazed into it, I saw Renee and Charlie embracing each other. My brow creased in confusion; they had never been on _that_ good terms.

They didn't seem to notice me standing there, watching their private moment.

Then I saw that Charlie's eyes were red and Renee was sobbing helplessly onto his shaking shoulder. Then I noticed that they were wearing all black. And when I looked closer, I saw a red mahogany coffin with yellow flowers balanced delicately on the lid, being lowered into the ground. I didn't have to guess to know who would be in it. Me.

As I felt the panic threaten to overcome me, I reminded myself that this was only a dream. I repeated it to myself like a mantra. It was just my over-active mind trying to frighten me. My parents wouldn't think I was dead; just… a long way away, studying at Dartmouth. Too far to visit.

I looked down at myself and got the shock of my life. I was sparkling.

The light refracting from my skin was as mesmerizing and wondrous as Edward. I flexed my hands for a long while, forgetting the troubling scene in front of me. Although when I finally remembered again, and whipped my gaze up, Charlie and Renee were no longer there.

Instead, I saw Jake.

He was sitting with his head in his hands, on a moss-covered log in a forest, almost definitely the forest in La Push. My heart split open, like an unhealed wound, and I cried out in pain. He abruptly stood up and walked towards me. On his face was a mixed expression of betrayal, hurt and shock. As he walked closer and closer, I saw the tight anger in his eyes, the resigned slump of his broad shoulders, his shaking hands. He looked straight at me, as though he was right here next to me, and I found myself pressing my shimmering hands up against the glass. His eyes narrowed and his chest heaved as he took in lungfuls of air. He eyed me with hate sparking in his unforgiving eyes and he turned away from me.

I lost control. I pounded my fists against the mirror, making the glass buckle with pressure. I screamed at him to listen to me, to understand.

He didn't back, not even once.

I swayed, and then finally collapsed, crying, in a heap against the cold wall.

- - - - -

I woke, curled up into a ball.

Someone was carrying me like a child.

The dream was forgotten. As my eyes fluttered and opened, I recognized my surroundings as the beautiful white house that belonged to the Cullens. Nothing could compare to the refined finery here.

At first I thought I was in Edward's arms. Then I realized that I was very close to the ground. This wasn't Edward.

It was only when I looked up did I see a perfect face staring down at me. Alice. She was looking at me with a strange expression, as though seeing me with new eyes.

I cleared my throat and asked her, "Alice? Where are you taking me? And why are you carrying me?"

She raised her arched brows and replied with her tinkling voice, "Because you were asleep, remember?"

I protested for her to let me down, but she just said, "Calm down. It's easier this way. I can carry you very easily. Don't worry."

So I shut up and just let her carry me. After a second, I realized that she hadn't answered my other question. "Alice. Where are we going?"

She sighed and replied, "I'm taking you upstairs."

I realized with a jolt that I had never been in her room before. I wondered what it would look like.

I felt little jolts as Alice danced up the stairs. We were in a wide hallway, a different one from where Edward's room was. The high ceilings were hung with a row of delicate chandeliers, the walls champagne coloured and the carpet as soft as the stuff on Edward's room.

Alice opened a door, unremarkable from the rest, and strode in as I stared around the impressive room.

Two of the walls were cream coloured, one was made of a single pane of glass, and the last was a brilliant gold. Intricate, silver detail blossomed its way across the black ceiling. In the middle of the room was a pure white sofa, which Alice promptly dumped me on.

I scrambled up into a sitting position, trying to regain the last scraps of dignity I had left.

Alice perched lightly on the edge, next to me. I waited for her to explain.

She opened her mouth, unsure, and then spoke. "Edward handed you over to me when you arrived. I wanted to talk to you… before your ordeal. Privately. He's waiting downstairs, talking with Carlisle."

So I asked her, "Okay… what do you want to talk to me about?"

Alice, gave me an once-over, still unsure, and then blurted out her words in a rush.

"Well, _obviously_ Bella, I wanted to know if you really want to do this."

I gaped at her. Was she going to start this as well?

Alice, seeing the expression on my face continued, "I'm sure Edward's already been through this with you, but I, as your friend, need to know what you're really thinking. Are you really ready for this?"

I continued to listen mutely.

"Well of course you're not ready – how could anyone be completely ready? It's … indescribable. But still. I need to know if you really have to do this. You would become a monster. Quite literally, a blood-sucking monster. Do you really want that? To have no self-control? To thirst for human blood?"

I cringed against that mental picture. Alice, finding that she had no more to add, relaxed and surveyed me with penetrating eyes. She leaned closer to me and said softly, "I saw that, you know. I saw you cringe. You don't want to do that."

I finally found the appropriate words. "Well, of course I don't want to kill people! But I want to be a vampire." And as soon as I said that, I realized how true it was. At least Alice seemed satisfied. She didn't try and force more out of me.

She glanced one more time at me and muttered, "Let's get you downstairs."

She stood up, graceful as always, as I struggled to heave myself up from her squashy sofa.

She looked down at me, and held out her stone arms. My eyes narrowed, as I stood up. _I'm not that helpless._

"I think I'll walk."


	4. go

Nightmare

Go.

I sat stiffly in one of Esme's antique chairs as I waited for her to come down. I dared not venture into Alice's mind. Hearing one side of the story would scare me even more than I was now. But I ached to know what my love was thinking.

I drummed my fingers against my leg, dreading what I was going to do.

_What if I lost control?_

Possible. I thought that I could be able to control myself, but maybe… when she was there in front of me, her deliciously sweet blood pulsing in every vein, I could… _would_… kill her.

I winced as I admitted to myself the horrifying truth. I forced myself to think everything through like an observer would. Not biased.

I could lose control. I could drink her blood so easily.

But then the little biased part of me objected. _You had been alone with her several times before. Uncountable number of times. Yet you had never, not once, lost control._

Still. I had never had to bite her.

The biased part of me, the optimistic part, was silent.

And to make things worse, I had to bite her many, successive times and in pressure points. Places where Bella's blood would flow fast… _rich_…

I shook my head, sickened to my very core, at myself. How could I think like that? Bella … I loved her so much. It was unbearable.

I heard a small noise and whipped my head around.

"Sorry. It's just me Edward."

I looked at my sister, Rose, who had just entered the room. She glided elegantly over to the rest of my family. Her unwanted thoughts forced themselves into my mind.

"…Bella. A vampire. She must be completely insane! And needy…"

I glared at her in anger, and she smiled an apologetic smile.

The beautiful vampire settled herself into an armchair on the other side of the room from me, and picked up a glossy magazine. She appeared to be reading it, but her eyes weren't moving.

Jasper and Carlisle were standing in a small huddle near the window. Esme was flitting around the room, darting here and there, unsure what to be doing. Her thoughts said it all.

"… I don't know! Let's think… what did I want when I was going through that? Oh no, I have no clue…" I stopped listening. I thought it appropriate to comfort her, but I had no strength left.

I heard Emmett somewhere else in the house, busy soundproofing the gigantic house. I heard his thoughts.

"… bloody huge! Christ! Can a house have any more little nooks and crannies? Maybe I could skip doing that window… but someone would definitely hear her screaming…"

I tore myself out of his head and screwed my eyes shut. I didn't want to know.

Instead I listened to Carlisle's and Jasper's low conversation.

"But how do you know I could do it?"

"I _don't_ know. It's a first for us all. But how about you just try? It would be astonishing if it worked… so much better for Bella."

Jasper sighed and as he did, I understood. Jasper was going to try and use his power of influencing other people's emotions to try and calm Bella down, when she was… turning.

"I know. And Alice made me promise. But what if I can't...?" he trailed off.

"Can't bear the pain?"

"Well…"Jasper lowered his voice further, trying to avoid me hearing. Bt I heard anyway. "Her pain is my pain. Carlisle, I don't think I could live through that again."

I felt like I was stabbing Bella myself. How could I hurt her like this?

Carlisle nodded and said quietly, "Do what you have to do."

"Edward."

My tortured eyes flashed towards the ornate staircase. Alice was leading the way down, and she was the one who called me. But I only had eyes for Bella.

She walked down the carpeted stairs, with her chin held high.

But her nervous smile betrayed the calm façade.

My eyes took in every detail that was _her_. Her brown hair… soft, just like her. Her deep blue shirt clung to her perfectly. Her wrists, like sparrow bones, looks so delicate. Her clear white skin… and her _blush_.

I loved every part of her. I wouldn't change a thing.

But Bella would.

She walked up to me, eyes pleading for understanding, and I found that I did.

I embraced her, held her tightly to me and breathed in her scent. I frantically memorized her blush, her brown eyes, her sweet scent. Everything that would be irreversibly changed, very soon indeed.

She rested her head on my chest for too short a time, then extracted herself from my grasp.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett zoom into the room. Bella held her head high and addressed the room, which had fallen deathly silent.

I cleared my throat, which had gone uncomfortably dry and took a deep breath.

I suddenly felt so much. I felt the butterflies whizzing around in my stomach, the seven beautiful eyes on my face, the cold in the room. And my heart going up to unbelievable speeds. The very same heart that was to be silenced.

"Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and- " and here I faltered. " – and Edward.

Feeling a bit stronger, I continued "I'm ready. To become a vampire, one of you. We all see the need. It's the only way. I'm ready. I'm honestly ready."

Carlisle stepped up and said, "Bella, we all couldn't want anything more than for you to join our coven. If you've thought this through, seriously, then we better get going. It's going to be twilight soon."


End file.
